“There is beauty and darkness in everything. Sorrow in joy, life in death, thorns on the rose.”
I step out onto my front porch. The sun is shining brightly on my face and I feel the warmth so deeply in my bones that I begin to weep. Tears of joy and relief and the remembrance of hard-won battles that have left scars forever in my soul. And the once again reminder that winter doesn’t last forever.
Spring is emerging in all of her whimsical colors and finally, I take a deep breath. Inhale the goodness, and exhale the grief. I struggle to find words for this feeling where beauty and relief have collided. It’s as if my soul has momentarily left my body in search of all that is pure and lovely. My heart is levitating.
I sit on my old creaky rocking chair and my eyes frantically search for more. More signs of hope and healing. And at last, I find it. I find it in the tall, bare branches of the maple trees where the buds are taking form. I see it in the red shoots, bursting from the earth with the promise of my beloved peonies returning soon. In the distance, there’s a bright red cardinal singing as he announces the claiming of his territory. And at this moment….everything feels right in the world.
My heart is wild with anticipation for all that is new. I can feel a sense of decompression as I peel off the darkness and move toward the light. Winter will always be a part of me. The ebb and flow of darkness and light are my steady companions. Born with a mind that houses all of my lovely and dark and beautifully complex gifts. A highly sensitive soul with anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Sad and melancholy, scattered and fearful. Yet a whimsical dreamer with a romantic heart. The light and the darkness come together as one. They build strength upon one another.
So, here is what I know….beauty is forged in the dark nights of the soul where one cannot see. And when the light finally breaks through, you are given eyes to see what has been there all along. Therefore, I continue to hope for what is unseen. For I know that winter will fade….and the promise of spring will come again.