You feel alone. A lot. You feel like no one understands who you are. And when you are brave enough to open your heart and lay your soul bare, there is no one to trust. The strange looks, the reactions, people just offering words of advice instead of letting you feel. You want to be known. To be appreciated and loved. To have someone, for once, just say. “I know how you feel.” All of your strange and deep and quirky thoughts and ideas and dreams. You don’t feel safe. You feel like you’ve been raw one too many times. Too many times, you’ve known what it feels like to have your heart broken.
You’ve been told that you’re too sensitive. You don’t like it. You don’t like that you wear your heart on your sleeve and are too much of a dreamer. That you see words and colors and pictures completely different. That when you try to describe the beauty of something that takes your breath away, you’re met with confusion. No one “gets” you. You want to let your dreams enter the light of day. But that feels too dangerous. You know that if you do, you may lose some of the few people who care.
So, you keep on dreaming in your mind and in your heart. You keep on feeling this desperate ache in your bones that you can’t describe. Your imagination is too much, they say. Let them temper your wildness. Let people say that the ache that’s deep down in you, should be ignored. You let people say that you’re not practical in your thinking. That your dreams are TOO big. They crush you. And then you have a hard time getting back up again. You feel dead inside. You’ve tried for too long. Too long to get the love and approval of others. And it feels incredibly exhausting. You ask yourself how other people do it. How they ignore their heritage and their intuition. How they keep getting up every day and continuing to hide who they are. How they just want to blend in. To be loved but fail themselves.
How then? How do we risk losing love and approval while remaining true to who we are? Do we fail ourselves so that we can please others? Do we become wild and free? Or tamed and trapped? You can’t pretend to be who you are not. Loneliness is your constant companion. You are afraid to bare your soul again. You can’t take the hurt and rejection. You’d rather remain wild and free though. You’d rather be out in the wilderness where your soul can dance and your heart can sing. Where you can dream out loud. No one can stop you from dreaming, sweet girl. No one can change who you are. Risk it all. Be free.